2004-12-01 - 6:41 p.m.

I feel like shite.

Phoe reckons she picked up the beginnings of a cold on the train back from somewhere or other and has fortunately been able to keep it at bay now for a few days.

Unfortunately, now I got the bugger and at bay it ain't. I feel really sore right at the back of my nose/softish area far back behind the roof of my mouth (as you can see, I'm not up with my medical terminology). All I know is that this, combined with other bits 'n assorted pieces of aches and pains is seriously beginning to get me down. If I were Fate I'd send me an interview right now just so that I can suffer even more. I always get head colds that make my brain stop working and cause me to never know what I am talking about (nothing new there then!)

Oh, here's embarrassment - we went to Tesco and horror upon horror I glanced up to see some blokes enormous hairy arse exposed as his trousers slipped down whilst he bent over to get some bread. I was almost mesmerised, it was SO HAIRY! Of course I nudged Phoe and whispered (rather too loudly I suspect) "Look at that bloke's arse!" She looked up and rolled her eyes. It was at this point that I noticed a kid standing next to a trolley. I prayed to my deities that this kid wasn't the offspring of the hairy bloke. As I walked off I heard the kid say TO THE BLOKE "Those girls were looking at your bum dad!" He just laughed and said "were they". He sounded like a nice man actually but every aisle we went down we seemed to be face to face with him. I didn't know where to look!

Apart from that, despite our usual Christmas Scroogeness I have decided on my family presents. I've got a huge family so I just make each grouping a calendar of myself (it became a tradition and they get upset if I don't do an annual Sketty Calendar) and a, wait for it......

.........SHRUNKEN HEAD

Last year I gave everyone lobster related gifts, this year they're all going to open beautifully wrapped, shiny boxes with tinsel and seasonal joyfulness to find a small brown corpses head in there! I think it's hysterical. My Mom said that I should make Santa hats for them (although I think she was being sarcastic), Phoe doesn't believe I'm going to go ahead (AHEAD, GEDDIT?) with the plan. I mean, what do you get for the family that has everything?

A shrunken head.

I rest my case.

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