2007-04-19 - 7:05 p.m.

OK, I'm taking my Mother on a road trip around Scotland

(RAWK 'N ROLLLLLLL!)

...but this is me.

...and my Mother.

Bad luck squared if you like.

The new engine in the bug is shagged already. I knew I shouldn't have plied the guys with beer as they were working on it last April. Nuts weren't tightened, spark plugs had been dropped, things that didn't quite fit were clipped on and then covered an a sort of gum concoction and the cute little oil leak suddenly and quite unexpectedly became a torrent. Of course, I didn't realise this or that a full bottle of oil was leaking out of the thing within 2 days, oh no. This means that my rather expensive engine is damaged now. I wasn't going to take her on the trip in the bug, let's face it, she's 70 and wouldn't be able to withstand the primitive suspension or the fact that you can't turn the heat off or open the passenger window. No, I was going to drive it to Birmingham and leave it at her place and then take her normal car to Scotland before returning home in the bug with my drunken cousin in tow.

THEN, I decided to confirm our booking at the nice hotel in Edinburgh which is where we are heading initially and then staying for the second day. No record of it.

'Did a gentleman with a Scottish accent take the booking?'

'Erm yes.......'

'Ah, we had to fire him for not writing down bookings. Sorry!'

It would now seem that I have to sleep in a double bed with my windy, snoring Mother and she, with her even windier (and vegetarian), shouts out and kicks in her sleep daughter.

Yup, the Kettners are on the road!

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