2004-11-30 - 5:53 p.m.

I dunno why I'm writing an entry today, I've got nothing to tell anyone. Perhaps once I get started I'll realise that there is in fact a great deal going on.

...but I doubt it.

Had a letter confirming that the Prison Service received my application for the accelerated promotion scheme thingie for graduates so there's something else going on.

Still no news about the Procurement job which I've been obsessing about lately in a 'wouldn't my life be great if I got this job' kinda way. My thoughts have centred around the councils green policy and how they are encouraging staff to travel ecologically. They offer benefits including an interest free loan with which to buy a bike. I have been lost in a sort of Homer Simpson world, imagining myself cycling down to the ferry and then to work, getting fit and looking damn good. Of course I'll have my own office with suits hanging up there so I can get changed before working a standard day with standard days off and loads of holidays/bank holidays off. When I was an underwriter working in an office I craved unusual working practices and days off in the week. Now I crave normality although the other careers I have applied to enter wouldn't offer me that.

I suspect that I'm screwed and if I get into the police or the prison service I will hate it. It's just something I'm gonna have to get over innit? I also think that it would be unwise of me to take a job just 'cause I want a bike and the weekend off. I make stupid decisions 'cause they seem like a good idea at 3am quite often.

...I took that duty managers' job at X-treme Play 'cause I thought it would be great - I'd just strut around with a big bunch of keys looking important and telling menials what to do. Of course, I was so taken with this idea I neglected to take into account my dislike of most children which resulted in not only me and the rest of my team getting covered in diarrhoea but also an incident where I realised I couldn't take any more so hid myself away in a Wendy House for a few hours, emerging only to shout at children attempting to come in (I told everyone I was doing maintenance, really I was marvelling at the small kitchen units). In the end, thank God I caught chicken pox from some vile brat which gave me time to lie at home and reflect on yet another crap sketty decision.

(sigh) Wazza (Phoe's mental Dad) came over and disrupted the whole house with his inability to act sane or speak in at a normal pitch. Phoe asked me later whether I thought he was insane. I told her that I do think it. The man's like a special needs child, shouts all the time, gets excited over stupid things and talks over you constantly. In fact we just don't engage in conversation with him anymore, he answers his own questions and laughs maniacally to himself. One of the most stupid things that he has ever said is that we should knock down all the trees and build more roads and that we should bomb Stonehenge in order to kill all the road protesters.

Why do you live where you do Warren?

(shouting, for he always does) WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

I mean, why did you move from Birmingham to live in the countryside?

'cause Birmingham's an arseholing place and you can't move for people and arseholes everywhere!

(Waz has got such a lovely turn of phrase I wanted to be sure that you experienced the full delights of a conversation with him)

....so what you are suggesting is that where you live now is much more pleasant and green

Yeah.....

..but yet you still want all the trees and countryside demolished to make roads

Erm, well.....

...and you think that anyone who doesn't agree with this plan just happens to live ON an ancient stone monument?

..........?

You're an arsehole aren't you Warren?

(actually I didn't say that last bit, I just thought it/still think it/want to say it)

Anyhoo, he turned up like a dervish, made us all nervous and broke our outdoor lights in an attempt to fix a small lamp. All Phoe said was that if he had a spare fuse could he pop it over next time he visited....

(sigh), I shouldn't be horrible even though I could write a book on his madness. He did bring us some dog and cat food which was good of him.

I will await my bad karma for writing ill of another (even if I do stand by every word)

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