2004-11-23 - 8:49 p.m.

I've added a guestbook to the 'Never flash at a squinting woman' page on my homepage to see if I can net some comments/gleen some information about the hundreds of Hungarian dancers who are visiting it daily.

Even typing that description sounds weird dunnit?

...hey, if anyone can speak Hungarian can you help me out? (she asked clutching at straws)

Well, my obsession aside, my stomach feels back to normal (much to Phoe's chagrin) and as she was away giving a presentation in Birmingham I had the place to myself and decided to go for a cross country run through the woods in true Agent Starling mode. Unfortunately it was really muddy and I went on my arse in the most ungraceful way. I also had to jump over a deepish stream that had really muddy sides and I was convinced that I was gonna end up in there too, especially with 2 idiot dogs jumping back and forth around me making the area even more muddy. I threw my mobile phone across just in case and then realised that I'd commited myself to going across too then.

Phoe was away, Sket is in the woods (not the freaky woods with the open grave, the woods with the invisible spirit that pushed me over once, she said sounding like a mad person). A recipe for disaster. What do you think? Did she go arse over tit into the stream?

I bet you all thought yes; ye of little faith. No, I made it over and retrieved my phone without a hitch so there!

In other news.

Oh hang on, I forgot to say, I SAW A GHOST in the woods too! I got out of the car and saw an old bloke walking a little white dog along the path that I wanted to start off along. I was a bit pissed off as I didn't want to start running with people around so I began by walking and he just disappeared around a bend! I always start off on a proper path before I go cross country and he was just gone! There was no where else for him to go apart from somewhere else in sight at that point.

Hell, I just thought, I hope he hadn't keeled over in the undergrowth. Shiit, that'd be typical for my brain. Believe the ghost account without even considering there could be any other explanation. Heck, I'll feel really bad if he's still there.

Oh well.......

Anyway, I had an email from the Guardian newspaper website saying that it was my last chance to apply for the fast track through promotion scheme with the prison service. I can't remember if I ever mentioned that one over here. Sket the prison governor - doesn't bear thinking about really does it? Well, I actually called someone up to ask whether it would be worth applying with my naturalisation pending and he didn't know but will try and find out tomorrow. That'd be good, in a bad way. Good that I might be able to get on the scheme and bad that I might then have to commit myself to a life in the bloody prison service. If it's meant to be then it'll happen. I'm in 2 minds about it (but not in a schizo way of course). I am going to turn myself over to Fate, I can't be bothered to fight against it any more.

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