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Rescue Chickens

The Kindness of Strangers

Does my arse look fat in this soul?

The demon of paranoia re-visits old Sket

On The Road......

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2005-03-30 - 12:48 a.m.

I really should employ someone to slap me until I start to lose whatever stupid senses I have. I've got EXACTLY 2 weeks before my interview and scary fitness tests. You know what my plan of action to improve my frankly embarrassing level of fitness was for today?

....Walk the dogs twice, go to the gym for an hour and a half and then spend the evening with Nigel who promised he'd run me until I puked in order to push my current limits.

Sounds good dunnit?

You know what I actually did do?

Got off my lazy arse at around 2pm and walked the dogs in the rain for about half an hour. Didn't bother to go to the gym, went shopping and bought some make-up instead. I then decided to walk the dogs in the rain again before phoning Nigel to cancel our puke-fest 'cause it was raining' (imagine me saying the last bit in a wussy sarcastic tone of voice to myself).

'beeecuz it wuz raaaaaainingboohoohoo'

...like I give a shit about the rain?

I can see myself writing about how I wish I hadn't procrastinated away my time to get fit in a couple of weeks, can you? I've really got to drag my carcass another 12 lengths, heck if I can get another 8 the adrenaline on the day will probably keep me going until the end.

Shit :(

...anyhoo. I did do something constructive today; I went back to the police station to ask why the hell no one's contacted me about this freakin' shadow shift that I've got to go on (can you tell that I'd rather put forks in my eyes than do this stupid shadow shift?)I spoke to a woman this time and she sorted it out there and then (heck, I'm not saying ANYTHING about men not being able to find theirs with both hands, honest). I'm going out in the area car on Friday from 8.30am. Might be interesting but probably not. Because I live in God's Waiting Room we will probably end up trying to catch some poor bastard who's driving at 2mph over the speed limit thru the next village (they decided to implement a 20mph zone thru their deserted ghost town) before attending the scene of yet ANOTHER pensioner who has careered into stationary cars whilst trying to park their high powered, state of the art BMW.

....if (and I mean, IF) I get in this time I hope to god I am ultimately posted in Portsmouth or somewhere similar.....

Hark at me being picky - I should be bloody grateful they're willing to see me again at all!

Y'know? reading this entry back I think that Nige has got a point; lately I DO have a stinkin' attitude

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