2004-12-30 - 12:08 p.m.

Shockingly, the shrunken heads didn't go down all that well with the family...

Tch, some people heh?

You take time thinking of the perfect Christmas gift, you research, you import and you buy nice shiny bags and present them beautifully. What do you get?

"Loved the calendar, could have done without the head"

"I opened the bag and there was something covered in hair. To be honest, it scared the shit out of Adam"

"You thought we could hang it off the tree? You're fucking mental..."

"This beats the life-sized hand made out of soap you got us one year as the most shit present ever!"

Pah, ingrates!

Other than that, I had a most enjoyable family experience apart from the fact that I ate so much crap it made me really irritable and I tended to get snappy with my Mom. I've discovered that tonnes of chocolate and christmas cake makes me evil.

Aggggghhhhhh, chocolate and christmas cake......(Homer moment)

Memories of my week at home?

i) Discovering at 8.30pm that it was snowing hard on Christmas Day. My Mom ran outside, scooped a handful of the white stuff and lobbed it at me through the open front door. Rising to the challenge I ran outside with bare feet and we chased each other around the car having a snowball fight. The snow on my feet didn't feel all that cold actually which was a surprise.

ii) Looking out of the window at 11.45pm at the lovely snow and getting the urge to go for a run (!??!) in it. My Mother suggested we get dressed and go for a walk, so at midnight we were running up and down the virgin snow on people's gardens and driveways. ...(cough), I will also admit that we both wrote obscenities in the snow on a couple of people's cars. My Mom was laughing like a kid and we had a great time. I will always hold the memory of that night dear...

iii) Meeting up with my old pals from college and having a present exchange and chin-wag. I was rattling on about a load of old crap (as I invariably do) when my friend Sue decided to make her announcement. She was 5 months pregnant and hadn't mentioned it before! Bloody hell, I couldn't believe that she had let me go on and on about shit when she'd got some REAL news to tell us. She said that it is scary and she feels like John Hurt in Alien. I always suspected this would be the sensation (shudder). So, out of the 3 of us Sue got married last year and has a baby on the way. Katherine gets married in September and wants to try for kids pretty much straight away. Then there's me - the highest qualified (no job), no bloke, no kid, no nuthin.

Shit, I've depressed myself now.

Ahhh, I'll be alright. I'm going to buy myself a National Geographic Ice Mummy dissection kit to cheer myself up.

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