2004-12-22 - 8:25 p.m.

Well, I'm off to Birmingham tomorrow. I'm not allowed to take Malcolm the Beetle as those around me imagine all kinds of death, fire and destruction should I attempt the journey in a 34 year old car. The fact that there's no heat and the top speed seems to be 55mph (down hill with the wind behind it) meant that I wasn't going to argue. I'd still be driving on christmas day if I'd insisted!

....so I'll be going in Phoe's car and she will be left with the pleasures of Beetling in winter. She's already given herself a bad headache trying to manoeuver him into the space outside of the house. I'll have to remind her to check the oil before every trip too - it looks as though the Amoco Cadiz (sp?) went down (ie. oil everywhere) wherever it's been.

We went to see Phoe's mad Dad Wazza again today and took the dogs for a late night walk in the field opposite his house. For some reason I had a flashback to last summer when we thought we'd found a dead guy lying in the field and poked him with a stick.

....the sleeping weirdo wasn't impressed and proceeded to follow us around the walk after that. I call him a weirdo, I guess to the bloke who was enjoying a nap in the sun, WE were the weirdos who had poked him with a shitty stick.

(Actually, I doubt whether the stick had shit on it, but HOW funny would that have been?)

...and that's that I guess. I have bought some great Christmassy bags for the shrunken heads. I SO wish I could see everyone's faces when, amongst their decorations, fine gifts and seasonal jolity, they discover a small brown corpse's head under their tree. I was called weird on the local radio phone-in yesterday when I told the DJ what I'd got for everyone. I'd called up to share my tale of what was my worst ever Xmas present - tickets for bloody Status Quo - and had been drawn into telling him what I'd bought for everyone. I think that once I'd explained, we had all decided that tickets to see Status Quo were much worse...

�

previous - next