2004-05-31 - 12:37 p.m.

Ok, this is my 3rd entry of the day but I feel that this tale of sheer mind-numbing humiliation needed a page of it's own.

I think it happened on Saturday (I am losing track of the days already). I had a big grin as I had completed everything that I was under pressure to complete and I could relax.

Unfortunately the Fates are rarely kind to me and to celebrate my new-found freedom they decided to throw in a quick dose of humiliation.

Phoe and I took the dogs for a walk in the park in warm, early evening air. Our park is literally at the bottom of our road and leads straight down to the beach and we go there every day. As we walked along the first path, in the distance we could see a crowd of people standing on the grass to the one side. It wasn't usual and as we approached they started to disperse. I noticed that they were all dressed up and that several people were holding onto each other and crying. There was a kid holding a shovel too. They all walked past us and Phoe nodded and said hello to one bloke who had acknowledged us (dunno who he was). Anyhoo, I heard a voice say "hello Stacey" and I turned to see a woman that I recognised but couldn't place. I assumed that I had worked with her at some time. She basically told me that they had just planted a bush and scattered the ashes of her mother-in-law around it and that she had loved the park etc. etc. Everyone was very upset and that she will be missed. I spoke with her for a couple of minutes but the crowd were waiting for her so I said goodbye and let her join her heart-broken family.

It was at this point that one of the dogs spied a new bush in his park. A bush that didn't smell like the rest of the park and a bush that needed to be marked in order to tell all the other dogs of the area just who is boss.

.......can you see where this is going?

Phoe and I tried to shout without actually shouting and alerting the crying people of the danger their mother in law was in. The dog completely ignored us and pissed all over the ashes!

Owwwwwwwwwww GGGGGodddddddd!

Phoe pretended to drop something on the floor to sneakily look back and see if anyone had noticed. My face had taken on a shade of crimson and I could feel my blood pumping in my ears. I was scared that the extreme heat generating in my body at this point would be sufficient to cause me to spontaneously combust (and leave just half a leg in my place). She reckoned that no one had noticed but I'm not sure. We were still quite close to the people when we attempted to shout quietly, someone just had to have heard it.

When we went back on the walk yesterday we approached the bush and decided that we were freaked out that this woman's gritty ashes were there all over it's leaves and around the base. Why the hell had they poured them all over the plant? I'd have dug them into the roots for safe-keeping and so that dogs didn't piss all over them.

.....he did in fact piss on them again whilst we shouted at him. He didn't seem to care, he looked as though he had completed a job well done.

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