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2006-10-30 - 8:11 p.m.
I've been avoiding my pal Nigel for weeks now. Regular readers might remember that he was the guy who forced me, against my will, to become fit enough to pass the hellish 'bleep' test in order to get into THE INTENDED JOB. He moved away and I don't really see him at all now. He's left a couple of messages for me but I haven't got back to him 'cause I didn't want to talk about my growing hatred of my new job and everything about it. He did a motivational course thing to become a counsellor last year (I can't remember what it's called, it's all letters but it deals with negative mindsets and thought patterns) and I didn't have the strength to deal with him analysis of me.
...anyhoo, the phone rang and I answered it without thinking. It was, you've probably guessed, Nigel and well, I ended up telling him everything (against my better judgement). I really poured my heart out in a vomit of negativity, self pity and shame. Every time he tried to pick me up on my constant use of the word 'can't' I told him that I didn't want to hear any of his voodoo. Sigh. He's a good bloke, he really is. He, in a very short time and despite the tsunami of negativity, managed to stop me in my tracks and agree to go running with him for an hour once a week on the mainland in order that I can regain my fitness and mental clarity and go for THE INTENDED JOB again!
Yup, I'm going to put myself through it all again. Nigel doesn't even live that close any more but he has offered to drive to the hovercraft terminal and meet me once a week in order to train. He rightly said that if he is willing to put in that effort then he would expect me to make an effort (something that I have had trouble with lately). I can't refuse can I? If I want to go for the job again I'm going to have to put myself out. It's so easy to wallow and heck, I'm bloody good at it. I love a good wallow me, but it isn't very conducive to sorting out your life.
When he calls back in half an hour I'm going to tell him that I'm willing to do it. Shit man, I'm going for THE INTENDED JOB AGAIN.
IN OTHER NEWS:
* Had my first day at my new office. Was grumpy.
* Procrastinated rather than did essay due in on Friday. Was grumpy.
* Went into our local Co op corner store which had just had a major refit. The staff hate it so I cheered up the girl behind the till by informing her that I had christened the place by breaking wind in every aisle. Phoe put her head in her hands and walked out in shame.
Ha ha hah aha - you gotta keep your sense of humour haven't you?1 comments so far