2004-08-27 - 11:22 p.m.

Sigh, this changing lifestyle shit is, in one way making me feel great, but on the other hand is a right pain in the arse.

On the positive side, I have been visiting the gym 4 times a week and I can see my body tightening up and I can feel that my muscles are working much better and that I am a lot stronger.

On the less positive side, I had decided to join a slimming club in order to ensure that I stuck with my new healthy eating plan (if I know that I am getting weighed by a stranger every Thursday I won't slip into bad habits such as having an entire tub of Ben and Jerry's Phish Food ice cream for dinner). There I accidently made a new and needy friend that I don't want. She doesn't seem to be able to read my 'fuck off' body language and as she is very heavy has asked to come to the gym with me a couple of times a week in order to stay motivated. She also wants me to go swimming with her and asked if I'd go FUCKING LINE DANCING with her. I'd have loved to see my face when she came up with that one - I believe that my eyes actually bulged from their sockets. I even spluttered and could only gasp weakly 'no way, I'm too cool'. Don't get me wrong, she's a really nice woman but she's got loads of problems and I just don't want any more needy people in my life.

Get this, I agreed to meet her at the gym last Tuesday. Bearing in mind we know each other from a slimming club, when we finished our workout we went to the cafe area where she demolished a milky coffee and a cheese scone covered in loads of butter. She told me that the day before she'd eaten load loads of chocolate and crisps and hadn't bothered to get off her arse all day. When we got weighed last night her weight had remained the same. Bloody hell, if I'd eaten all of that shit I'd have put on a stone!

All this aggro and I bet I fail the next stage of interviews for 'the intended job'. I can't remember whether I already mentioned it here or not but if I didn't, it's a 5 hour assessment thing which includes an interview, numeracy test, mental reasoning test and some bloody role play exercises. Shiiit! Bloody role play is the bane of my life (well, one of the banes). I am seriously dreading it and am winding myself up already and it's not until the 15th September. My pal fit Nigel also came over and made me run. I thought I was gonna puke. He's frightening me actually - he called tonight to see if I have been adhering to his fitness plan of running the shuttle test every night until my lungs and legs give out (I haven't) and to inform me that he's coming back next Wednesday to do it all again until I puke. Not even a girl weeping quietly down the phone deterred him from saying that he'll see me next Wednesday.

....bastard.

When a girl CRYING doesn't work on a bloke you know that he's tough. I even made real tears happen but I guess that was lost over the phone. I'd better start practicing.

Believe me, now I AM weeping real tears

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