2004-05-22 - 11:47 p.m.

I've discovered that I am a classic procrastinator and that 'to procrastinate' does not necessarily mean 'to idle'.

I made this heart warming discovery whilst bathing for a couple of hours (in a soup of my own scum showerers may claim) tonight. I was reading all the bloody supplements that came with The Guardian on a Saturday and found out that procrastinators spend their wasted time either covering for themselves or thinking of bigger and better ways to procrastinate (check!), they need someone really efficient and busy in their lives in order to procrastinate effectively (I have Phoe, so check!), procrastinators live on average 30 years longer than other people (wahoo!) and a load of other bollocks that I can't be bothered to remember.......

I also had a very depressing conversation with Phoe which ended with us plea bargaining with each other over household tasks. She basically broke it to me that she doesn't think that it should be her job to put away washed up dishes as she does all the cooking (I'm not allowed in the kitchen as she has a phobia about my hair around food which is quite hurtful actually). She also has a weird new phobia involving the noise of putting away plates and stuff. This is even more ridiculous than my 'round things' phobia if you ask me and is an attempt to put pressure upon me to put away the dishes that I have washed up and left to drain (for days). Hey, I heard that it is more hygienic to leave stuff to dry naturally rather than use filth encrusted tea-towels and 'sides, the stuff you use most often is easily at hand without the misery of having to open a drawer! I said that I would be willing to put away the dishes (within an hour was the imposed time scale) if I NEVER have to vacuum again. I fucking hate vacuuming, there must be more to life than pushing a suction device around a floor. I also once had a very unfortunate vacuuming incident when my boredom made me experiment to see what it felt like to 'suck' the skin on my face and I thought I was about to lose my eyeball a couple of years ago. I had a black eye for days when the delicate skin around that area was sucked violently away from my skull.

........I like to experiment altho my experiments rarely go well...

Anyhoo, I've caught the cold Phoe got when she went to Birmingham a couple of weeks ago and tomorrow we fly up to Scotland to give the annual presentation up there. I feel a bit bad actually; the first time we went up there I thought I was dying, it turned out that I was experiencing the first stage symptoms of chicken pox and must have infected everyone on the plane and at the police training school up there! This time I've got a cold - they're gonna love me, AGAIN!

In other news, one of our friends has a daughter who had a weird night time incident where she suddenly went really cold and then felt an invisible force press very hard on her chest! I'd have SHIT A BRICK!

�

previous - next