2005-11-18 - 12:57 a.m.

Fucking hell, I've set the freakin house on fire again and I don't think I'm going to get away with it this time. Phoe is away and her biggest nightmare has happened - I tried to cook for myself!!!!!!

The thing is, I get so bored just standing there watching pasta soften so I do other things - like play a bit of Diablo (Hell Level) and when you do that time just flies away with you as you kill monsters and die quite often (before having to go back and find your mouldering corpse just so that you can recover your best kit). Well, my dog (the one who wore the foil hat in the earlier photo) did the ol' Lassie thing and kept running in and looking at me in that kind of 'hard' dog stare before running off and then returning when they realise you didn't psychically pick up what they were trying to tell you (unlike the smart owners in films). I don't actually know what made me get up but it didn't take long to choke on the thick smoke.

Shit......

The smoke alarm alarmingly didn't go off either and it usually goes off if you just fart by it. I guess I finally killed the batteries. Well, the whole place absolutely STINKS. Upstairs, downstairs, every room, every corner stinks in a 'even the house is going to grass you up' kind of way. I'm doomed. Phoe is kinda compulsive about safety and especially about the stove and fire so I am going to prove to her that I am not capable of taking care of myself when she's away. I won't be able to play the hurt 'I'm an ADULT you know' card for years now whenever she's getting on my nerves by treating me like a child.

Shit.

Oh yeah, does anyone know how to get that black burney stain from erm stainless steel? I've scrubbed hard and it's no good, the house and the pans are in cahoots to get me into trouble. I tried to eat the burned pasta but it was just too horrible so I ended up having toast and marmite for dinner. Oh yeah, and I accidently ate her favourite crisps.

In other news: Went to the optician for the check up on my trial with the new lenses and apparently I excrete very high levels of calcium from my eyes and he had never seen such a build up on lenses in 2 weeks (he hinted that it was a years worth of build-up!).

Great, to go with my withered arm I've got fucking calcified eyes now

...and finally, I've unlocked the diary 'cause it just aint no fun otherwise.

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