2006-01-31 - 7:04 p.m.

What is it with sex dreams and bloody alarm clocks being in cahoots with each other EVERY SINGLE TIME?!!?

Every

Single

Goddamdoody

Time

...right on cue, just as it's all about to kick off, the freakin' alarm clock goes off BANG ON THE ACTUAL SECOND! How? (she asked, her voice rising to a pitch only dogs can hear!) The exact.....

Ah, leave it Sket, you don't want your clock to think it's won!

-sits with disgruntled look on face-

I tell you, there's a conspiracy against me and I know who's most likely behind it:

My usual nemesis - FATE

Apart from my bitching and complaining about another failed sex dream (mutter, mutter) I have had some more serious news: My '71 VW Beetle failed it's MOT so spectacularly that the garage decided to call me up and ask me to remove it from their forecourt! They were refusing to even touch the thing! How bad is that?

I had to ring around some other garages to find someone willing to undertake the work but as a lot of it is going to be welding I know it's going to be bad. The brakes also failed completely, showing 'little or no effort' on the test and that's going to be about �150 just for the parts. The real kicker is definitely gonna be the extensive welding that needs to be done all around the suspension tho. I did take welding classes at night school years ago because of my penchant for aged cars but I neglected to follow it up with any car maintenance courses and therefore wouldn't have a clue what to weld. Damn me and my great ideas that always go wrong :(

...I can weld 2 pieces of metal together into an L shape (she said helpfully)

Bollocks :(

BUT, saying that, we did have some really good news! Phoe is self employed and at this time of year when the tax returns have to be in we usually spend days shitting ourselves and eventually crying at the sheer amount she has to pay. It almost finished us off last year.

This year, because I've been on her case to collect receipts for EVERYTHING, her tax is less than half of what it was last year!

Fucking fan-bloody-tastic! We get to survive another year!

Listen to this for a blow out: 1 16" stone baked quatro formaggi gourmet pizza, 1 rocket and Parmesan salad (for me), 1 Mediterranean salad with olives (for Phoe), 2 ciabatta Parmesan twists with garlic dip and a massive pot of coleslaw.

...oh, and a free bottle of red wine (which made me wince - I bloody hate wine, it tastes like metal)

All expertly delivered by a new local company who've taken home delivery pizza to a new level. BLOODY DELICIOUS! (I can feel a Homer Simpson moment, complete with drool, coming on, agggggggggggggggggggggg)

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