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Rescue Chickens

The Kindness of Strangers

Does my arse look fat in this soul?

The demon of paranoia re-visits old Sket

On The Road......

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2005-12-20 - 10:26 a.m.

Just a quickie today to let you know that I survived my first day at the hostel without getting my head kicked in/setting anything or any one on fire or generally shambling about and making myself look the biggest dingleberry on the face of the planet. First impressions? I think it's going to be ok but there is another project worker there who I have taken an instant dislike to. I've got to work with her tonight on a 4-11pm shift so perhaps I'll get to know her a bit better and perhaps she won't seem so aggrivating. The only other things which don't appeal are the lone 24 hour shifts which sound quite horrendous but at least you get paid to sleep for some of that time.

Oh God, what have I done? I could have stayed in the nice cushy 9-5 Mon-Fri office job but I am never satisfied am I? I have to bloody well go out and seek more and more interesting experiences which usually lead to my downfall. I mean, the place that got covered in diarohea was a case in point! Who'd have thought that getting the seemingly innocuous job of Duty Manager somewhere would result in me having to not only hide in a Wendy House from hundreds of screaming kids, but would see the whole facility and staff covered in shit? ON MY SHIFT!

I should just realise that whenever I try a new venuture my nemesis FATE will step in and make me look like a complete arsehole in front of strangers.

....then again, I'm panicking and nothing bad happened yet. Perhaps this one will be different :)

And Finally: I've left it a little late, but what does one buy for one's best friends' totally mental Father for Christmas? The man doesn't do anything and is convinced he's dying (despite contrary medical opinion). How's this for the SAME opening conversation we have with him EVERY TIME we see him:

Wazza: "I dunno what's wrong with me, I ain't eatin. I just haven't got an appetite and I ain't eating. I haven't eaten properly now for weeks!"

Sket (to self)"well you haven't lost any bleedin' weight have you, you fat git"

Phoe: "Well, what have you had today then Dad?"

Wazza: "Well, I dunno, erm, I just dunno, only a banana....... some toast.......a bit of cereal, some yoghurt, a bit of soup......I might have me some gammon ham for my dinner tonight....

Sket:(speaking out of turn for it isn't really her business but she gets frustrated at the man) "So which 5 minutes of the day are we talking about then when you aren't eating 'cause you've probably had more than the 2 of us put together today."

.....and so we head towards tomorrow when we will see him again and have entirely the same conversation. I tell you, for a man who isn't eating, he sure does have a big gut.

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