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Rescue Chickens

The Kindness of Strangers

Does my arse look fat in this soul?

The demon of paranoia re-visits old Sket

On The Road......

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2005-01-26 - 10:37 p.m.

Oh God

Can someone PLEASE tell me just how much of an arsehole one person can actually be? Just how incredibly incompetent and buffoonish a person (who is supposed to be reasonably intelejunt) can get, or indeed how this aforementioned utter prat of the highest magnitude hasn't in fact been so stupid they've been killed in some way?

You wanna know what I've done now?

Actually friends, if you never learn anything else, learn this for it is a valuable lesson:

NEVER and I mean NEVER fill out important documentation on your lap using a cushion as a table whilst watching tv.

Y'know the Procurement Professional job I'm being tested for on Friday? Well, I finally decided to see what all the bumph was that they'd sent me when they invited me to the assessment day. One of these things is a medical form which I will have to take with me sealed in an envelope which has been provided (and I appear to have lost already). ALWAYS read each question and don't forget that just because you ticked the box on the left saying YES to the 'Are you in all respects in good health?' that all the boxes on the left mean that you're healthy. Yep, I'm the idiot who has filled out an A4 sheet of paper ticking ALL (except the 1st question of course) of the wrong boxes. It can't be covered up, it can't be made to look right and it shows that the person who wants the job can't fill out a simple form without going mental and screwing it up. It's not as if a person has to think too hard about the question and write a long answer; Have you at any time had investigations for, suffered from or had symptoms of Tuberculosis, pleurisy, asthma or spitting of blood? TICK THE YES OR NO BOX. ....and I got it wrong.

Doesn't bode well does it? I'm gonna have to lie now and say that some idot in admin didn't send me the freakin' form and what they hell are they playing at?

They also sent me an example test booklet in order to allow me to practice the type of tests I will be doing. I hate to say it but I'm screwed (watches shiny new bicycle fading into the distance). Bearing in mind I got CSE grade 3 mathematics and then an O-Level D when I went to night school you can probably safely say that maths ain't my strong point. That aside, I'm pretty good at most stuff but when asked formal type mathematics questions I am SCR-EWWWWWWED.

Numerical Computation Test: How many questions can you answer in 3 minutes (shit man, maths at speed!) I wasn't doing too badly until they started the 1/3rd - 1/5th shit.

...the rest of the tests weren't too bad until I came to the Numerical Reasoning page. I could only do 3 questions! How the feck is a numerical cretin supposed to work out:


I collapsed in fear trying to work out how much a single pad weighed in order to times it by 7! I bet you bunch of mathematical geniuses (genia?) are shaking your head in wonderment at how shit I am :(

I just hope that the pass rate is 2 out of 8


ps: for the people who've asked, I'll do the electronic voice phenomena story tomorrow or something (once I've calmed down!)

and finally, in other news: I've got 2 stickyfoots (certificates) saying that I've passed my Excel and Access courses :) .....oh and as I typed this entry up I worked out how to do the 1/3rd - 1/5th question!!!! PUT THE FECKER INTO 15THS! See, the old noggin works when my conciousness is screaming in fear!

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