2005-06-08 - 12:29 p.m.

Sigh, well I've had the feedback.

I'm fucking evil about it!

I would say that I felt sorry for the bloke who had to call me up to give me the report from the panel but fuck him. I'm glad that he was nervous on the phone, that he stumbled over his words and was obviously embarrassed. He had no answers for me and didn't know what to say when I told him that I knew why I hadn't got onto the scheme and that is because I'd been discriminated against for being best friends with a high profile victim of crime. He said that he was genuinely surprised to hear this and that no one would have known which is bullshit (and I told him) 'cause they questioned me really hard on the matter in the interview.

Shall I start at the beginning?

I don't actually know which would have made me feel better; a 40 minute phone call giving me feedback which told me that I was crap and never to apply again, or a 40 minute phone call from someone who read out glowing reports on each competency and telling me that I'd failed by ONE POINT 'cause the computer said so?

Gutting isn't it?

That's what the bloke kept saying. He was so nervous on the phone and stated that he'd dreaded calling me the most 'cause he'd got no answers as to why I hadn't made it. I was very calm and spoke evenly about the situation and he eventually conceded that he couldn't guarantee that I hadn't been discriminated against after I'd said it had happened in the past with the psychological assistant job (at least they had the honesty to tell me that they had concerns over my motivations for wanting to work with prisoners) and that I believed that the Pris0n Serv. thinks I'm some kind of freak who wants to infiltrate them and go on a killing spree or something.

....he couldn't really say anything apart from deny it and suggest I apply again next year (!!!!!) 'CAUSE I SOUND LIKE AN EXCELLENT CANDIDATE!

I'd laugh if I wasn't so mad...

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