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Rescue Chickens

The Kindness of Strangers

Does my arse look fat in this soul?

The demon of paranoia re-visits old Sket

On The Road......

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2005-05-28 - 9:22 p.m.

Oh shit, I just discovered that my diary entry about the red thread has made a startling appearance into my top 50 most read pages. If you don't know the story then I aint repeating it. I told it ages ago and I was hoping that it would slip quietly away and fade from memory quickly. Damn me and my penchance for over-sharing :(

Anyhoo, I had the day off sick on Thursday and didn't feel too bad really. I'd been hassled that they were understaffed and that they would need me back asap. I made up my mind that I would go in yesterday and discovered to my horror that I was indeed genuinely ill! After an hour I was advised to go home. I'd been coughing down the phone to people and then started heaving and retching; I must have sounded like I was being strangled. Phoe picked me up from the ferry and I ended up being an unwilling passenger in a car on it's way to visit an 89 year old woman in hospital. The woman is mad Wazzas mate really and she'd tried to commit suicide on the beach Sunday night. I can't help but wonder why someone would live that long and THEN decide to kill themselves when nothing had particularly changed with their circumstances and they still had all their faculties. She's claiming to have no memory of the incident now but the medical staff don't believe her.

Oh well....

Anyhoo, today was my day off and I decided to go to the gym and work really really hard in an effort to sweat this bloody virus out of my system. I still sound like shit, can't stop coughing and have a constantly running nose. Little was I to know that I was about to be humiliated in front of a GOD!

Basically, when I came out, red of nose and damp with sweat (I shower when I get home. I HATE communal shower blocks. You won't catch me standing there starkers with people wandering in and out!) only to spy one of my old VW Beetles in the car park. I smiled to myself especially when I spied the surfer/hippy dude god getting out.

Mmmmmm, very nice :)

I sauntered over instantly forgetting that I looked like shit and had a croaky, disease ridden voice. I then basically went into Sketty-Flirt-Mode and told the god-like hippy that I was once the proud owner of his wheels and they were lookin good etc.

We chatted for a little while and I told him that I now own the orange
bug across the car park. We eventually say our goodbyes and I walk away (trying to be sexy whilst praying that my arse looked ok), I got into my
car, started the engine and attempted to drive sexily past him as he leant against his car.

Unfortunately, as I attempted to pull away with one hand on the wheel,
the other waving and both eyes on the God I almost ploughed into an old
woman driving a fucking Maestro. Cue emergency stop with the back end
almost going in the air and my head practically cracking the
windscreen.....

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