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Rescue Chickens

The Kindness of Strangers

Does my arse look fat in this soul?

The demon of paranoia re-visits old Sket

On The Road......

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2005-01-03 - 11:04 p.m.

Today has been weird, really weird in an inexplicable kind of way. It just doesn't feel right today and I can't put my finger on what it is.

I think that the day started off normally. I did wake up at 5.55am which registered as pretty cool in my sleepy state (I'm easily amazed when tired) before slipping back into unconsciousness. I got up as normal, ate some algae and blackberries (don't ask...) and then continued as normal. I think that the weirdness first started when I was the passenger in Phoe's car and I noticed my teeth in the sun visor mirror. I dunno, I guess it sounds stupid but they just didn't look like my teeth.

"What are you bloody looking at?"

"My teeth, they don't look like mine..."

(rolls eyes)

...sigh "well, whose are they then?"

"I dunno, they just don't look like how I remembered them to look. They look like false teeth today."

Phoe didn't take it any further and I didn't tell her that my thumb looked wrong too. I really hope that I don't have something wrong with my brain and I am losing the power of recognition. Could be down to the poisonous Santa Claus head I guess...

There were other weirdnesses but just reading through the shit I've already written is making me wonder whether I should just delete this entire post (or keep it to laugh at later). I need to get a job or a life or something, I was paranoid that my cat was sitting with her back to me earlier 'cause she hated me...

Finally, I feel like I know and am friends with most of the regulars who read my diary and I would like to think that I am regarded as someone who's a bit windswept and interesting (stops to listen for laughter). I don't want to tell you things that might damage my image but I think that this is something that really needs to be said. Yes I am one of those pale hippy vegetarian types, and yes I eat a lot of beans and erm, algae I'll admit privately that this is really no excuse for the stenches I have been letting off over the past few days. I have had THE most foul smelling, LOUD and winding wind I have ever had in my life! Apart from it being very satisfying (I am secretly proud) it is having an adverse affect upon my home life. In short, I have stunk the entire house out and now am being forced by someone who is supposed to be my best friend to run into the office, PULL MY PANTS DOWN so that the wind doesn't get trapped in my clothing, and then run back into the living room whilst trying to trap the stench behind a slammed door! It's not easy I can tell you, especially when it's constant.

Phoe actually dragged me out of the house and slammed the front door on me earlier. I was laughing too hard for the first few minutes but then it became apparent that she wasn't going to let me back in. I'd got Eeyore pajamas and 1 sock on so I wasn't impressed and had to sulk when she let me back in (with the understanding that I don't fart in her presence EVER again).

Tee hee, I'm farting as I type :)

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