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Rescue Chickens

The Kindness of Strangers

Does my arse look fat in this soul?

The demon of paranoia re-visits old Sket

On The Road......

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2005-04-26 - 8:55 p.m.

Well....

Work is pretty shit. It was marginally less shit than it was yesterday but still more shit than it should be. Then again, call centre work is renowned for it's utter shitness. I wish my real life would kick in soon; I am getting increasingly jittery about passing the medical for THE INTENDED JOB. I wish I could share my fears with everyone and get some alternative views but I can't do it to myself so I won't.

The camp 17 year old who started work with me is entertaining in a cringeworthy way. It's been a long time since I met someone so 'in your face' and blunt. Apparently, he could never go with a woman 'cause:

"Oh my God right, women have disgusting gashes - they're like axe wounds. They're VILE!!!!"

...oh, and apparently 'cause my boobs are bigger than a handful I need a reduction. It hit me earlier that I was just standing there allowing some strange gay kid to hold them in broad daylight and in full view of the public whilst kinda weighing them and exclaiming their enormity in a loud voice!

....sigh. First grope in ages and the bloke wouldn't come near me 'cause of my 'axe-wound' any way. Not that I fancy him or anything, he's far too hyper and young (and gay of course).

In other news: My old college pal Sue had a baby which is weird - the first one of the old gang to go there! She's called him Lewis and I had to ask if it hurt like fuck.

Apparently so.

She said that she didn't want an epidural to relieve the pain. Then the REAL pain kicked in and it was too late. What a fucking nightmare! It reinforces my life plan to NEVER, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, TRY AND SQUEEZE OUT A THING THE SIZE OF BABY FROM A HOLE THAT SHOULD ONLY EVER FIT SOMETHING THE SIZE OF A YAM. I don't care how much they are supposed to stretch, I'm keeping mine tight, tidy and compact thank you very much!

(shudder)

I am going back to Birmingham for a flying visit this weekend and she is threatening to make me hold it. I am SHITTING myself; she's wanted one for so long and I really don't trust myself not to have some catastrophic and totally Fortean freaky accident. I've had a run of good luck lately so my old adversary FATE will be on the prowl looking for a way to humiliate me and make my day at least 35% worse than it should be :(

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