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Rescue Chickens

The Kindness of Strangers

Does my arse look fat in this soul?

The demon of paranoia re-visits old Sket

On The Road......

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2006-12-19 - 6:06 p.m.

I gotta start going to bed earlier. Listen to THIS for terrible:

I FELL ASLEEP during a Ch1ld Pr0tection Conference where 14 professionals were sitting around a table discussing a family and trying to decide whether to put the kids on the ch1ld protecti0n register or not. It was only the sound of the mother weeping that woke me up.

I wasn't TOO asleep, it's just that the room was so warm and my eyes became SO heavy. I fought it tho, I fought oh so hard and for so long. I just couldn't fight any more; it was as tho my eyelid muscles had contracted some disease which had shrunken them up until my eyes looked like piss holes in the snow. I only closed 'em for the briefest of mome........

ahhhhhhh

My head jerked forward and I opened my eyes again. Shit man, this is really bad. DON'T SLEEP SKET, THIS IS SERIOUS! I fought the brave fight, I coughed and looked around at people, shifted position and rubbed my face a bit. I messed with my eyes hoping to stimulate the area and wake mysel.......

ahhhhhhh

(sound of distant weeping)

(shit, I can hear someone crying)

I tried to open my eyes slowly so that it looked as tho I'd been in quiet contemplation of the situation. People were passing tissues to the Mother.

Ooowwwwwwwww Gooooooooooooodddddd, Sket. This is someone's life crisis you're falling asleep during, you uncaring cow. After that incident my mind was snapped awake and I paid attention and acted alert. Everyone decided that there WAS enough evidence to put the kids on the register but it was a positive thing as the family would receive a great deal of support from all directions now which was really needed.

I got back to work and thanked the God of Parking Spaces for ensuring that despite being the 4th car driving slowly around looking for a space, just as the other 3 buggered off I saw a woman come back. Mwhahahahahaha, small things make the world of difference. I really need to get one of those 'life' things I've heard so much about.

....anyhoo, I sat in on an interview with a prolific offender later that afternoon. I only fucking fell asleep again! Fortunately, again, it was only for an instant but thank Dog this meeting was only short. I think I'd have slumped off the chair and curled up on the floor. That's how tired I was. This guy made me laugh quietly to myself. He's got a string of convictions as long as your arm but he didn't 'do' any of them and he didn't know why he'd been 'stitched up' by so many different people, police, pub landlords, friends, family - you name it, it was THEIR fault. That'd make a good film actually. Some poor sap is genuinely framed by other people for the WHOLE duration of his life. Ok, so it wouldn't make a BRILLIANT film but I bet you could make it really funny.

I'm meeting a particularly nasty type on Thursday. He's done some bad stuff in his time and scared many people shitless. I'm looking forward to it actually.

....assuming I can stay awake.

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