2004-11-14 - 12:21 p.m.

So, both days that Fit Nigel had identified as one that he would come and make me run on have passed and now I am safe. I can't believe how grumpy I have been on each day, waiting, wondering and knowing that I hadn't been to the gym as promised in order to make the run not so hard.

How crap am I?

As a friend, perhaps I should call to make sure he is alright and that nothing bad has happened to him.

As a lazy goodfernothin' I can't bring myself to in case I fall into some kind of trap and he suggests we go out running.

Shiit, I did actually enjoy the feeling of getting fit before but the thought of the pain in my chest as I struggle for breath is growing into some monstrous fear in my brain. I must snap out of it or else I will be pajama clad and unfit forever. I should phone Nigel. I SHOULD phone Nigel. Am I going to phone Nigel? Am I hell.......

I inflated my fitness ball last night; y'know, the one like the big one I described at the gym. If you don't know, it's a giant ball and you perch your bum on it and do sit ups and other stuff on it. I had a go on it last night and ended up rolling around the floor like some crap circus performer who's had a stroke. I can't balance at all and it is so huge your whole body goes with it when it starts rolling. Phoe sat on the sofa silently, just watching me until I don't think she could hold her tongue any more.

"Are you supposed to be rolling about like that and falling to the side?"

"What do you fucking think"

(I obviously wasn't enjoying my fitness ball experience as much as I thought I would)

"Riight, I just wondered that's all. Is it inflated enough, it kinda looks too squashed.."

"I don't bloody know, the instructions just say that it's inflated enough when it can just fit in the gap between the wall and a door that's open 12 inches"

"....and can it?"

"I DON'T BLOODY KNOW, I CAN'T BE BOTHERED TO GET A FECKIN' TAPE MEASURE"

.....silence.......

"...you know that you are going to brain yourself if you carry on don't you?"

Don't you just hate people who watch you being right all the time?

In other news, I have received a job application as a (wait for it), Trainee Procurement Professional. If anyone knows what one is I would be grateful just in case they ask me at any future interview scenario.....

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