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Rescue Chickens

The Kindness of Strangers

Does my arse look fat in this soul?

The demon of paranoia re-visits old Sket

On The Road......

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2005-11-23 - 10:30 p.m.

Owwwwwwww Godddddddddddd!

I've cringed so much I look like I've lost 5 stone.

We're having the old 60's holiday home kitchen ripped out and the lovely new one fitted

(by the way, I'm about to be graphic so if you are of a delicate nature I wouldn't continue reading)

Anyhoo, I got home from work and our kitchen guy had bought an electrician with him to do a load of work today. I didn't half fancy him (despite his name being Kevin which is hardly sexy, windswept and dynamic is it?). I was absolutely dying to go to the loo but simply couldn't whilst there were young men around (cause women don't shit you know lads!

I contained myself for a while, had a laugh and flirt with the fellas and generally thought 'ooh' about Kev.


....so any way, after a while Phoe and I saw the chaps out of the front door and I ran upstairs shouting down (at the top of my voice)

"I'm going for a shit. I didn't half fancy that Kev bloke - he'd got a lovely face. Well, I'D fuck him any way, hahahahahahaPhwoooorhahahaha"

at this point, see Sket stop dead in her tracks as she realises the window is RIGHT OPEN and the guys are still standing outside the front door talking about the job. Rigid with growing humiliation I strained to listen to discover if there was any hint of them having heard my oh so ladylike display. I really couldn't tell but I recently got away with the burned pasta thing, I doubt whether THE FATES would let me get away with 2 things within a week of each other.


I guess it explains why I know so many gay guys. I'm enough to turn any bloke onto the other bus :( Oh, and here's another reason. The latest picture of me looking like I'm possessed of Devils/as rough as a bear's arse. I just kinda wanted to undo the nicer image that people might have of me bought about by the picture of Phoe and I about to go out a couple of weeks ago. THIS picture is more like me - scowling and evil:

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