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Rescue Chickens

The Kindness of Strangers

Does my arse look fat in this soul?

The demon of paranoia re-visits old Sket

On The Road......

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2005-12-09 - 6:45 p.m.

Well, it's been a while hasn't it. I've got some good news, some even better news and some totally humiliating 'why do I even bother to fucking try' news. Oh, and I ache :(

I'll follow the story thru but I have to warn you, throughout most of it, I come out like a fucking moronic idiot. Forgive my language, I just feel in a sweary mood. It's the heart-stopping humiliation that does it.

Ok, here we go:

LAST SUNDAY - Decided after much procrastination that I would indeed apply for the internal position as a Project Worker at a scheme for vulnerable young people that I'd been planning on applying for all week. I had all weekend to tweek my CV and type a supporting statement which needed to be completed a bit sharpish as the closing date was Monday. What time did I finally decide to do it? 1.30am and what time did I finally go to bed? 2.45am and what time did I have to be up for work? 7am. And was I a bastard in the morning after 4 and a quarter hours sleep? you betcha

LAST TUESDAY - My line manager came into work after having been away all of the previous day on a course. I told her that I'd applied for the job as a project worker within a different department and she was really nice about it. She asked me if I'd targetted my supporting statment in order to prove that I had the skills that had been identified as being essential criteria for the post. And Had I? Had I hell. I'd kinda implied that I had the skills but this wasn't good enough so I (oh god) emailed them a kinda 'oh by the way' 'ps. I'm really good at yada yada yada' type email. I cringed as I sent it 'cause let's face it, it ain't no shining endorsement of my skills and brain power is it?

THEN to make matters worse, I had one of my catastrophic acccidents and made myself look a complete and utter buffoon in front of everyone.

Basically, the receptionist came into the office and asked me to make 2 coffees for some people and take them thru into one of the meeting rooms. I was actually appauled at this as I consider myself to be above tasks like this. Unfortunately, it proved to be beyond my skill-base (cringe). I got 2 cups and put them under the drinks machine and got coffee and sugar into them. I then bent over to the little fridge and got the milk out. NOW, this is the thing, the foil lid was still on the milk so I gave it a good hard shake. Unfortunately some twat had decided to, rather than remove the lid, stab 2 holes in the top of it thus making the Sket shoot milk out all over the ceiling, the walls, herself, the floor, the drinks machine, the printer, the desk of paperwork and well, basically EVERYWHERE. I'd been asked to make 2 simple coffees and I was standing there amongst the devastation with soaking clothes and milk running in rivulets down my face and hair. I couldn't believe it and ended up stinking like sour milk for the rest of the day. I was ready to tell people who didn't know what I'd done, that I had a small child in order to explain the stink away. My line manager giggled to herself for the rest of the day.

Anyhoo, this entry is turning out to be a mamoth one so I am going to leave it here and continue the story tomorrow. There is good news and another catastropic accident to come. I feel like a right wanker at the moment :(

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