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Rescue Chickens

The Kindness of Strangers

Does my arse look fat in this soul?

The demon of paranoia re-visits old Sket

On The Road......

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2006-04-18 - 9:06 p.m.

HOW FUNNY IS THIS?

...actually, it's a combination of being both funny and slightly hurtful at the same time. After weighing up the situation I think it's more funny than hurtful altho Phoe is pissed off about it and intends to say something to the 'offender' next time she sees her.

I'm guessing you'll be wanting to know what happened at this point.

Ok, let's set the scene. I've just finished work and I'm sitting in my old VW Beetle at the traffic lights of a junction. Now, for those of you who haven't ever experienced my Beetle I think it's best I describe it: It's orange, it's dented (from before I had it, I hasten to add), it's filthy, it's rusty and it's got a fuck-off loud 'stinger' exhaust. In fact, HERE is a pic of the poor old git. I have to keep the revs up 'cause it likes to cut out a lot and, well basically, it's a complete wreck.

...but I love him. He's totally gorgeous in my eyes, he was built in 1971 so he's an old man and heck, old men fart and are loud because they are a bit deaf! I always thought he was a character and that local people always knew it was me when they heard 'Malcolm' coming (from 3 miles away) and would smile :)

....well, THAT illusion was shattered today.

As I say, I was in town sitting at the traffic lights in Malcolm when I see one of my posh neighbours coming around the corner. I immediately smile (which, let's face it, is a real task for me) and await her recognition so that we can make that small human connection with each other. UNFORTUNATELY she doesn't seem to see me - despite being a mere 10 feet away from a REALLY loud bright orange Beetle that she sees every day. The posh neighbour was looking towards the pavement and went quickly thru an open door which led to stairs going up to the Anchor temping agency.

"What's a retired posh lady doing going into a temping agency?" I wondered to myself, naively.

Well, as the lights changed and I drove slowly past the open door I saw exactly why a retired posh lady would go into the stairwell of a temping agency...

SHE WAS (in true comedic style) PRESSED AGAINST THE WALL TRYING TO LOOK INVISIBLE SO THAT NO ONE WOULD EVER KNOW THAT THE EMBARRASSING GIRL WITH THE CRAP HAIR AND THE SHITTY JALOPY WAS AN ACQUAINTANCE OF HERS!

It was like something out of a film, honestly. I just burst out laughing at the spectacle of this woman hiding from me! It wasn't until about 10 minutes later it hit me that I was a complete embarrassement.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

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