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2007-03-25 - 7:30 p.m.
I suspect I'm about to be over graphic and about to perhaps over-share in the worst possible way. I've toyed for days on whether to share this, but as you know I'm a sucker for sharing a comedic moment so share I will.
....and live to regret it.
I want to talk about GENITALS
Now, not many people talk about their own genitals (boy am I about to get a thousand hits a day from the pale 'no life/lad in their hands whilst they surf the net looking for a thrill' brigade after posting THIS one!) and perhaps this is for a very good reason as let's face it, THEY ain't very pretty are they (she whispered, conspiratorially)?
Shall I just launch into the story? I guess so....
So, I'm up at the crack of the night before getting ready for work. I still have crease marks on my face from my lovely, lovely bed and how I so want to crawl back into it but alas, I can't. I gotta go to fucking work and smile at all the arseholes I want to call arseholes and be pleasant and fucking helpful and be a good frickin colleague....sorry for that. A bit of bitterness overspilled for a moment there. The room is gradually lighting up with the sunbeams of a brand new day and I'm naked. This might sound hot but believe me, it's not. I look like a fucking creased up troll who slept in a skip overnight and my face is set to permanent scowl. Anyhoo, I'm naked and moving about the room picking things up off the floor and generally looking for stuff to wear. THEN out of the corner of my eye I spied something fucking horrible and angry looking stuck to me, reflected in the full length mirror in my bedroom!
I let out an involuntary yelp and my heart started to palpitate a bit. I actually stood up and became wide awake in an instant, with the sound of my blood pounding in my head. I was almost too scared to look again. Most people tend to see things out of the corners of their eye at some point and quite often aren't sure what it was they saw; was it a ghost fleeting past? An intruder? Something fucking scary attached to them?
Well, as I say, I stood there for an instant fucking terrified. The thing was HORRIBLE. Very slowly, eyes glued to the mirror I bent sideways into the position I had just left and looked in the direction of the horrible thing stuck to me. It was my own vagina from a very different angle than that I was used to seeing.
Fucking hell! How'd it get to be so ANGRY looking?
In other news: I keep forgetting to tell you all. I'm on myspace now too so feel free to add me (so long as you aren't a dirty pervert attracted to this entry 'cause it mentions the word 'vagina' or because you found me by searching under 'shitw0men') if you like. I have to warn you, the blog contains some of my favourite entries from over here at the moment 'cause people at work have the address so heavenforfend I would actually post THIS entry over there. Between you and me, I did intend to until I actually stopped and slapped some sense into myself.1 comments so far