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Rescue Chickens

The Kindness of Strangers

Does my arse look fat in this soul?

The demon of paranoia re-visits old Sket

On The Road......

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2006-10-12 - 7:54 p.m.

Oh god, laugh? Yeah I did.

I guess you want to know why. Phoe and I were in Tesco earlier and at the checkout she pointed out some skeleton costumes that had plastic glow in the dark bones.

"I wonder if they do an adult size for you" she pondered.

Of course, I was gone. Lost in Sketty world where I imagined myself dressed in a black/glowing skeleton costume going to work as if it was the most normal outfit in the world. I would LOVE to go out and about my normal life whilst wearing a skeleton costume. How cool would THAT be? Very, that's how cool but alas, they were for kids. BLOODY KIDS, THEY GET ALL THE GOOD STUFF! I shared my vision with Phoe who thought I could top off the costume with a black cape. I was gone again then, imagining myself standing waiting for my train home with my cape billowing out behind me whilst I stand, hands on hips looking determined and serious. Oh man, I gotta go on ebay and find me a skelly cossie......

Anyhoo, work. Best not mentioned really. All my new colleagues were really worried about me yesterday. I've got a miserable face at the best of times but I guess I must have been 30% more miserable and grumpy than usual and it showed on my face. I was surprised at how nice and supportive they were being. So surprised in fact that I told 'em that I was unenthused about the job and that I was considering leaving. Blimey, they are all trying to be my best friend now in order to support and retain me which is freaking me out.

Another thing which freaked me out was the random priest who got onto my train, walked into my near empty carriage and asked if I minded him sitting beside me. Must have looked as if I needed saving or something. I did have Uncle Fester's complexion at that time of the morning but I really can't understand why the man needed to sit really close to me and start telling me about his garden and how he'd asked the Lord for a bit of rain to help them along. It was absolutely pissing it down at this point so I told him that maybe he should ask his man to ease off a bit. I was praying he wouldn't start asking me about my religious beliefs as I might have had to lie rather than tell him I was one of those weird pagan hippy tree-hugging Goddess loving types who doesn't think much of christianity and it's history. Fortunately he started telling me that the diet coke I was drinking was killing me instead.

Gee, thanks Father (or whatever I'm supposed to call you).

...and finally. I had a discussion with my mate Bison about what I should and shouldn't put in my diary. I had kinda decided I wanted to start cooling the comments about how gross I can be in order to make a better impression of myself. Well, we decided screw that. It's a bit late to start pretending I haven't been single for so long that I've become too much of a pig to be decent real person material now. I'm vegetarian and I fart. I get drunk and inadvertently piss in my own shoes. I get drunk and get found naked on my mother's bathroom floor. I flick bogies so glue-like down the toilet they stick there like superglue and refuse to wash away despite having bleach poured liberally over them (well, 1 bogie. I don't tend to be a bogie-ish type person as a rule) at every opportunity. I have a growning number of toilet related social phobias and absolutely cannot piss if someone I know is in an adjacent cubicle. I then start to sweat in case they think I'm sitting it out so's I can have a crafty shit once they've gone! Paranoia and locked shut bladder muscles, that's me at work. I gotta change. I gotta start being a lady and most importantly, I GOTTA STOP OVER SHARING!

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