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2005-01-30 - 12:41 p.m.
I am not much of a morning person. A LATE morning person maybe but early morning? No way. It's probably due to my insomnia. Didn't go to bed until 4am this morning so 11pm kinda feels like early evening to me. Y'wanna know why I am babbling about bed/waking times? I gotta get up at 5.30am (at the latest) tomorrow in order to get to London on time for the tests to see if I've got it in me to become a trainee prison governor.
Shiiit. Put me in charge and the very fabric of society will collapse. Like I've said before, if I have a breakdown being in charge of a place where there are kids, how am I gonna cope with crims? Well, that's what Phoe and my Mom have been saying anyway :( The scary thing is, I seem to always pass stuff like this so I am likely to get this one! Shiit....
Let's change the subject.
Electronic Voice Phenomena. For the people who've asked.
As a recap, I went to see 'White Noise' at the pictures last week. For those of you who don't know, EVP is when we are supposed to be able to pick up the voices of the dead on modern technology, more specifically when radios/TV's aren't tuned in properly thus giving the spirits an opportunity to tune in to the frequency (hence White Noise). Phoe and I experienced this phenomena quite by accident when we lived in Cambridgeshire several years ago.
Here's the story:
We had moved to an old house and actually hated it. It was in Wisbech, in the flat lands (reclaimed marsh land) and was desolate and horrible. I won't go into detail of the area but it was really awful and we regretted our move the day we arrived. We put our stuff in and basically started planning our next move away from the dump.
Now, we had a digital answer machine (no tape, all held on chip) and one day we came home to see a message flashing. I went over and it was from my Aunt. The thing was, in the slight gap between my greeting message ending and her speaking, a low guttural voice which sounded breathy and distant began speaking. What it was saying was mostly unintelligible as my Aunt was speaking and it sounded as though it was 'underneath' her words. One word that came out very very clearly was a long and drawn out 'Crash' (kinda said - craaaaaassssssshhhhhhhh)
Phoe and I listened and became chilled when we realised that the voice was of some intelligence as it actually STARTED as the record function kicked in. We listened to the message a few times and it was horrible. We called in our nearest neighbour; Perry, a 25 stone cockney skin 'ed who only believes in tangible stuff that he can see and experience.
He nearly shit himself and left the house.
After that, the low guttural voice was in the background of every message. It was mostly difficult to understand but the words that we were able to pick out included several occurrences of the words "bitch or bitches"
Anyhoo, I went with Phoe to do a presentation somewhere or other and because the situation was on my mind I decided to phone home and give 'the thing' the opportunity to speak to us without having another voice drowning it out. Unfortunately I am a prat and as is my wont I did it in a jokey way.
"Hello Mr Disembodied Voice living in our house. I am going to give you the opportunity to tell us exactly what you want without someone else being on the recording. Please don't tell us that you are an evil spirit who wants to rip our faces off 'cause then I will shit myself"
...or words to that effect.
Phoe shouted at me not to wind the thing up so I gave it a good few minutes of 'record' time and then ceased the call.
...It didn't like it ONE little bit.
When we got home I listened in horror at the fury in the voice. It was like an angry wasp trapped in a jar. Still, most of the words were distorted or were coming so quickly they merged into one sound. We were still able to pick out the 'bitch' words (the 'itch' bit always came out well) and lots of other profanities. We were freaked any way, but this was really chilling. Phoe hadn't wanted to mess with it and wiped the message (which pissed me off a bit) and made me stand in the centre of the room and apologise to whoever it was leaving the messages (which I did).
We ignored the phenomena after that, in fact, I think we stopped using the answer machine but I did keep most of the messages. I emailed the Fortean Times about the situation and some guy responded to my message which was printed in the letters section, stating that he would love the opportunity to run the messages through all of his equipment in order to try and discover exactly what was being said. By now we were in the process of moving house. I knew that if I unplugged the machine everything would be lost (no tape due to it being digital) so I bought some good quality batteries and agreed to mail the whole machine to the guy a couple of days after we arrived at the new place. I wanted to hang onto the machine throughout the journey but Phoe insisted on putting it in the van in case we did indeed 'crash!'
.....by the time we'd arrived (7 hours?) the brand new, good quality batteries had decided to leak acid all over the machine and effectively kill it!
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