2005-01-12 - 1:55 a.m.

Today I met a guy.

Not in that way!

No, I met a guy who, in his initial conversation with me felt the need to share the fact that he's only got one ball.

"...but the one I've got is REALLY huge!" he followed quickly as if to lessen the blow (for some reason).

What do you say? What facial expression are you supposed to fix on your face? I dunno, I just kinda said "Oh, right...." whilst nodding supportively. I should be getting used to surreal statements made by virtual strangers to me now:

"Hello, my name's Pat and I don't wear any pants."

"You're very good at sexing baby gerbils, I will now tell you everything I know about gerbil sperm"

"I was up being very ill all night so this morning I put on a nappy and went out to do a day of interviewing in people's houses".

...?

Actually, I had a day of meeting strange people today. Apart from the guy with single enormous scrotal sack I had to hide from a mad woman in a big hat who used to come into the hippy shop I had years ago. She became a bit obsessed with needing to talk to me back then and insisted on calling me 'Chief'.

I always hide from her.

I then bumped into Jez the guy who ALSO used to keep coming into my old shop. He once told me that he would often eat road kill and that he'd recently enjoyed a rather delicious squashed fox. The stupid thing is, I knew that he was from a wealthy family but liked to act all tragic and bohemian...

...It's a bit like those well bought up white kids who affect a stupid 'street' accent and act as tho they are black and from the ghetto.

Some people are right wankers aren't they?

In other news, I cancelled a run with Nigel who's fresh from Canada 'cause I had been painting my bedroom whilst Phoe and her Dad finished off putting on the bathroom door and laying a carpet which meant I was not only covered in 'blueberry cream' paint, I was unable to get cleaned up.

....and it was a bit blustery (admitted the fair weather runner, quietly).

Anyhoo, all of the orange and green is gone (wa-hoo!) and I pulled up the vile slime green carpet which was down when we moved in (from when the place was a holiday home). The room is starting to look a bit beach hut-ified now. I've just got to paint the ceiling and go over all the old yellowing wood with fresh white gloss before I can stain the floorboards a washed out bluey colour. I hope it works out how it looks in my brain (she said doubtfully)

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