2005-03-17 - 10:20 p.m.

In what way can the DSS plumb the depths to make me feel rotten again? By deciding that my job search is taking too long and making me attend RESTART that's how.

...it wasn't far off the League of Gentlemen's take on the system actually and the more I looked at her, the more The Automaton looked like Pauline. For those of you who've never had the pleasure of The League Of Gentlemen, just imagine a sad, middle-aged fat spinster on a power trip, humiliating unemployed people.

Actually, I had a moment of clarity today when I looked around at the people I was being lumped in with and realised that the man sitting next to me had the word FUCK tattooed on his face in India ink. He'd also decided to enhance his eyebrows by tattooing various sized dots over the top of them and then decorating his cheek with one of those oh-so-attractive spider webs.

...I sat and wondered if HE wondered why he was unemployed? That would be the ultimate humiliation for me tho, if he got a job before I did. I called the prison today to see where the bloody hell my feedback is for the failed interview that caused my 'episode'. After being passed around various departments in 2 different prisons a woman who blatantly didn't know what the hell she was talking about decided to deal with me and tell me that it is their policy to answer all letters within 28 days despite my argument that I hadn't been told to put my request in writing. She stumbled over her words, sounded scared (?) and SO obviously didn't know how to help me YET SHE'S GOT A JOB AND I HAVEN'T!!!!!!!!!!!

I know, I obsess too much.

Went for more training with the mentoring organisation. Tonight's session was about Anger and Aggression and how to deal with/diffuse it. Unfortunately I already know about this subject. I was a (ahem) Traffic Warden in West Bromwich several years ago and I almost got my head kicked in by a bunch of builders whilst patrolling a satellite town called Oldbury. If you learn nothing else from my diary, learn this:

Never (and I mean NEVER) start to laugh at a hysterical builder who has done a Basil Fawlty and turned himself into a kind of giant mushroom shape whilst hopping up and down and swearing violently 'cause you'd given his van a parking ticket. It tends to make them kick off and smash their heads up nearby shop windows and their van doors whilst all their builder mates surround you and threaten to inflict all kinds of damage upon your person. Still don't know how I got myself out of that one......

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