powered by SignMyGuestbook.com
Get your ow
n diary at DiaryLand.com!

Rescue Chickens

The Kindness of Strangers

Does my arse look fat in this soul?

The demon of paranoia re-visits old Sket

On The Road......

contact me older entries newest entry

2006-05-20 - 10:06 p.m.

My world is slowly crumbling.

(...how's THAT for an opening statement, heh?)

I guess I'd better explain...

I have always been able to define myself as a loser. LOOOOOOOOOZER! Big fat 'L' on my forehead. LOOOOOOO-zer! LOSER!

Loo-oo-oo-oo-ooooooZAH!

I have been comfortable with this role. It has bought humour to my life and I have been able to write off all of the bad shit that's ever happened to me down as my inherent Loser-dom and that has, I guess, in some weird way given me comfort. I've always aimed high and the arrow has come right back down from the clouds, smacking me one straight in the eye. Damn that gravity! I've always hidden behind a cloud of cretiny and been able to get away with stuff no one else has been able to simply because I'm 'silly sket'.

Well, it would seem that things are going wrong for me by going right if you know what I mean. Basically I PASSED THE PROBATION SERVICE TESTS and now I get to move onto the final stage!

Not only that but there is a job coming up at work in a different department which is interesting, responsible and kinda 'grown up'. TWO members of the team have now approached me saying that they think I should apply for it as I would be very good. GROWN UP RESPONSIBLE PEOPLE CONSIDERING ME TO BE THEIR EQUALS!!!!?????!!!!

Fuck me! Am I finally about to become a proper person? I found myself buying hair clips that would tame my ridiculous mop thus making me look like a real member of society - a GROWN UP!!!!! Heck, I know that I actually AM a grown up but it's not a role that sits comfortably on my shoulders. I like being a bit of an idiotic drop out. Blimey, just read my diary entries from when I was unemployed. I RELISHED the misery. I WALLOWED in the mire of constant bad luck and I tried to be BRAVE in the face of adversity. Of course, I complained, bitched and wept but somehow it was comforting.

My downfall (upfall?) has occurred since I started working last year. It's bloody true that it's easier to get a job when you've GOT a job isn't it? It's weird, I always believed I was better than the breaks I was getting and now I am being recognised for my talents. It's making me mental, I don't know how to handle it. I guess it's time for my foil hat ;)

You just can't please some people!

"That's just what Jesus said sir"

3 comments so far

previous - next

about me - read my profile! read other Diar
yLand diaries! recommend my diary to a friend! Get
 your own fun + free diary at DiaryLand.com!