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Rescue Chickens

The Kindness of Strangers

Does my arse look fat in this soul?

The demon of paranoia re-visits old Sket

On The Road......

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2005-08-09 - 9:48 p.m.

Today wasn't a good day but it could have been worse. It appeared to be just one long bloody saga...

We had decided to go on another long bike ride, stop for lunch somewhere and come home. Rather than leave the dogs locked up at home all day we decided to leave them with Phoe's Dad, Mad Wazza, who has a lovely big garden and enjoys their company. As we don't have a bike rack for the car, we put the bikes in the back of Phoe's car and I was to follow behind in my VW Beetle with the dogs.

First snag: My car had been sitting for 2 weeks and once I'd pulled all the spider webs off it and tried to start it I realised that I'd got NO petrol.

"huh?" I know I go into the red sometimes but NO PETROL WHATSOEVER? Oh well, Phoe gave me a lift to the petrol station and I got a fivers worth. As I went to get back into the car she got out and went around and opened the back up. I naturally figured that she didn't want the can of petrol up front so went with her and leaned in just as she slammed the back lid back down again right on my bleedin head! Yiiiiooooowwwwwwww! The corner banged into my skull with such force my teeth banged together and I was knocked back for an instant. My language became rather ripe but being a brave soul I recovered quickly and carried on.

We put the petrol into the car, I drove to the garage and stuck another �8's worth in and continued on our way. We were having a lovely ride when all of a sudden Phoe's mobile went off and we hit SNAG 2

"There's bleedin petrol pourin out of the Beetle like a river" shouted a near hysterical Wazza. He started cursing and shouting and we started arguing with him that he must be exagerating but no, he insisted that we turn back and come to attend the bloody car. I was evil (refer to the picture of Evil Dead Sket from yesterday's post) and cycled back at high speed shouting all the way that there bloody well better be a fucking river of petrol coming out of the car or else I was going to start shouting at the bloke for intentionally spoiling our day out (as he has done in the past. He hates anyone to have a good time if he's not involved).

Anyhoo, we got back to find a crowd of old people enjoying the show (NOTHING ever happens in Wazza's road of oldies so this was BIG news) and there was no petrol gushing out of the car. You wanna know why? Cause the fuel tank was empty again :(

Yep, the car was shagged.

Had to call out the AA fearing the worse and fortunately the rather rotund AA man was able to fix the problem pretty quickly. The fuel line had perished and had basically disintegrated.

....I'm a lot calmer now (still with a dented skull of course). Wazza has been strutting up and down shouting and winding me up the whole time I was at his house and even the AA man quickly grew weary of him. Saying that, he did pay the bloke �10 for the parts and petrol for me so I can't moan (apart from in my diary of course)

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