2004-10-13 - 11:25 a.m.

You want the long or the short story?

Hell, I'll just start typing and see how it goes. Yesterday was my Job Related Fitness Test and final interview for 'The Intended Job'. I have wound myself up for days now and had the headache to prove it. I woke really early with the familiar pounding in my temple and noticed grimly that it was pissing down with rain. I definitely felt unwell as I started my journey and fell asleep on the train that was standing at platform 1 (and supposedly heading towards Southampton) almost immediately. Now, I don't know what made me wake up and check, but as they announced that the train was about to pull off I got up and looked out of the window to make sure that another train hadn't sneaked up behind this one in order to be the train that was about to pull out. I almost died - there was another train and it was the one I was supposed to be on. I legged it along and made it just as the sod pulled out.

Phew, foiled Fate, my nemesis there!

The rain got heavier and I got off at Hamble train station which is a tiny shitty station with just a kind of bus shelter on each platform. This was to be my home for the next 3/4 hour as I was way too early. The rain got heavier, my head ached harder and I was freezing. I started to pace up and down, felt dizzy and sat down where I began to cough until I was dry heaving and at the point of puking all down my clothes.

Nice.....

Why do I put myself through all this? I decided to walk to the gym where my fate was to be decided and by the time I got there I was soaked through, my running shoes were sodden and the bottoms of my trousers were muddy. It all added to the miserable, defeated feeling I had anyway. I eventually met up with everyone taking the test, there were to be 18 of us and I was the shortest, hobbity-est of them all. The girls were all tall, willowy, dry, and looked the job. I on the other hand was wrecked before we even started.

They started with the dreaded shuttle run and I knew that my previous best was only level 4 (12 lengths too little). There was a girl who'd failed this in August re-taking her test so she gave me loads of advice about pacing myself and not trying to keep up with anyone just because they are going faster than me. I kept my head down and paced myself. Nigel had told me that my goal today should be to just beat my personal best and to get a feel of what would be required of me and that's what I did. I ran until I couldn't go on and I got to level 4.3 before dropping out. I knew I wasn't ready to pass but I also knew that with continued training I would be ok so I am not worried any more. The recruitment woman told me not to worry one little bit and that assuming I passed the interview we could work out another date to pin this run down. The girl who failed in August passed this time and just one other girl dropped out without passing. I was glad I wasn't the only one :)

Then came the strength tests. We had to push an average of 34kg (out of 2 practices and 3 hard pushes). I got 48kg! Then came the pull test. We had to be able to pull an average of 35kg - I pulled 72! I was surprised that I was the strongest girl there. All the beautiful willowy girls struggled and 3 didn't make it by loads. The others seemed to just scrape it. I felt sorry for the girl who'd also dropped out of the shuttle run as she failed both strength tests too. I liked her, she gave me a lift back to the train station afterwards and we were interviewed by the same panel of people. She felt that the main bloke had hated her and had been quite sarcastic about one of her answers:

"Right, so you've told me what you think I want to hear"

Blimey!

I thought he was ok with me and we had a laugh. Some of the questions were a bit tough such as define 'community' and what do you understand about 'direct action'. I babbled on and just kept talking at 90mph which seemed to work at the last thing. I told 'em about the tough times with Phoe and my degree. I was able to give them an example of an occasion when I felt threatened (almost got my head kicked in by a bunch of angry builders once - not due to any building site Frank Spencering on my part, it was in the line of duty when I'd spent a couple of years being a b*stard as a Traffic Warden 'cause I'd been pissed off with office work).

Anyhoo, I left feeling quite positive. If I have passed the interview I am almost in, I just have to crack that run (and I've only got to manage another 9 lengths), pass the medical (which might throw a spanner in the works - what if I'm too blind? It includes an eye test without contact lenses/glasses. Wouldn't want to screw up unexpectedly on that now. They don't call me the mole for nothing).

.......actually, they don't call me the mole at all. What am I worrying about?

In related news. I had a call from one of the local prisons today saying that they were interested in me to train as a psychological assistant in order to train sex offenders not to do erm, whatever they were doing. I got excited, perhaps this will keep me going financially until I am sorted out otherwise. Unfortunately they called me back and told me to forget it because I am too foreign (again). Apparently it is Prison Service policy not to hire Americans (?) What the f.....? So much for the Anglo/American 'special relationship'.

Pah!

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