2004-08-04 - 12:06 p.m.

Bloody hell, it's happened again! 9 times out of 10, whenever Phoe goes away and I am in charge some devastating thing happens. Here are some examples; several years ago when I was left alone in the house I took an Evening Primrose supplement (made of a jelly substance) and it got stuck in my windpipe. This was my best near death experience and I actually felt myself going before I was able to cough the thing up. Another time I fell over in the woods and couldn't get up, another time I became really ill and my stupid dog joined me and when Phoe got home there was my vomit and dog diarrhoea everywhere, then there was the time I tried to split a 4 pack of diet coke and accidently stabbed myself in the stomach with a big knife......

As you can probably guess, Phoe is a nervous wreck whenever I'm in charge and I am actually forbidden from doing many things (which is quite upsetting for an adult with a degree). I thought that I would take the dogs for a long woodland walk and swim in the creek. Yeah this was the site of my falling down/can't get up accident and yeah, I still maintain my belief that an invisible woodland spirit pushed me over as I don't actually know what happened to make me go down so hard (this reasoning doesn't sit well on Phoe's shoulders)and yeah......there was another accident.

The dogs - Roswell (stupid, has already knocked several of his own teeth out due to his obsession with chasing balls) and Mulder (clever but very competitive especially when it comes to beating stupid dog to sticks or whatever has been thrown into water) had been having a great time swimming in the creek. Unfortunately Mulder's obsession with sticks led him to getting one in the eye and then a long drive to the emergency vet who claimed that he would have to operate immediately if there was damage.

........shit, how was I going to break it to Phoe that her dog (yeah, HER dog - mine is the stoopid toothless one) had been possibly blinded and that I was in charge of the aforementioned stick?

Anyhoo, we were lucky (and for some strange and comforting reason we always are whenever catastrophe occurs) and Mullie had just received a thump in his eye and there was no damage. The nice beardy vet put all kinds of dye and drops in to have a proper look and decided that Mul was ok. Phew!

In other news, Phoe's dad Wazza goes into the hospital to get a knee replacement op today. He's shitting himself that he'll come out with MRSA (which is incidently what killed my Grandmother but I'll keep that snippet of information to myself until he's out and better).

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