2004-06-18 - 11:10 p.m.

Jeeeeeeezus! How much of an effin' twat can one person actually be? I just hate myself, my inability to do anything straight away (even if it's worrying me) and my basic uber-crappiness.

...no wonder Phoe wants to punch me in the face.

(I'm still pondering the implications of having a conjoined twin growing out of your face by the way).

Anyway, the reason why I want to keep slapping myself until I start to cry and beg myself for mercy? My fucking graduation - or bloody lack of it as the case may be. MONTHS and I mean MONTHS ago I was sent a bulky letter with all kinds of shit and information about my graduation. All I had to do was fill out a form saying that I would be attending the ceremony and state how many tickets I wanted for guests, order my cap and gown and organise the photos. The order forms for EVERYTHING were in that letter which meant that I didn't particularly have to think about anything.

....I just discovered.

I decided that I really should look into ordering my cap and gown, so I sorted out the envelope from under the pile of crap by my desk.

Order by the 11th June. Shit!

I then decided to actually read the information they had provided and fill out the form to say that I would be going.

'Please return form by the 21st May'. SHIT!

In a panic (my very proud mother has arranged to come down from Birmingham and has organised and paid for a hotel already - oh, and she sent me money to pay for my outfit and photos) I called the Graduation Hotline - no reply. I checked out the website which told me that there were no tickets left for the Friday graduations. Mine is on the Thursday but if the Friday is full, this one must be almost there too! Shitshitshit. I called the hotline again (disgustingly in Snoopy pyjamas even though it was late afternoon). I got hold of a quiet voiced woman who said that she 'thought' there were still tickets for my graduation ceremony but she couldn't book them over the phone and I couldn't book them on-line.

Why? Is it fucking impossible for a person to look at a list and add 3 more names whilst holding a telephone at the same time? Hell, I wouldn't even mind if she put the phone down and wandered away for 10 minutes. Fucking bureaucracy! We finally agreed that I would get out of my pyjamas and fax through my form and hope for the best.

I also posted my cap and gown order form - the hire company said it was fine. I then discovered that I was supposed to order a frickin hood! What the hell do I need a hood for? I ain't going as a frickin monk or anything.

....can you tell I've been stressed today?

I've now got to call the company and see if I can fix the mess that is my life. Oh yeah, and I ballsed up an ebay sale to bloody Romania of all places. I had called up Royal mail to ask how much it would cost to send something, they told me �4.50, the guy paid it and today I found out that the first guy was as much of a pratt as me on my worst day and that the postage was in fact going to be more like a tenner!.

Oh, and I started a diet today and my stomach thinks that my throat has been cut. I wish I'd got that twin on my face now - it would console me and stroke my hair until I calmed down

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