2006-05-06 - 11:55 a.m.

Aghhhhhhh, you all knew I'd make it back in one piece!

Whadda trip!

Before the journey even started, some silly old duffer smashed into the back of me on the ferry!

...fortunately there was no damage, I just got bumped forward and was then able to give him my best evil face. So good was my evil face in fact that when I got back to the car at docking the bloke had moved his car right away from me.

Malc the Beetle, I've gotta say, did me proud on the journey up. I stopped around Oxford (just before I hit the main Midland motorways) and allowed him to cool down before checking his oil.

...he didn't actually have much oil at this point. Ooops! I topped it up and laughed to myself that, like Hansel and Grettel (sp?) I'd left a lovely trail of crumbs - or oil - back to the ferry. From Portsmouth I made it in just an hour longer than I make it in a proper car. I dropped him over to the lads who promptly started laughing at Malc's poor old engine. It would seem that one of the previous owners (..and I've had him for over 3 years) had left a length of stretched out coat hanger at the back somewhere. There were a couple of rubber seals shoved somewhere obscure too. It looked as tho someone had put the engine back together at some point, had bits left over and just stuck 'em any where. There were so many things wrong with the engine I couldn't list 'em. Most of them were due to some past idiot who didn't have a clue. I guess the fact that it got me 180 miles up country is a testiment to the quality of a VW engine.

..which leads me to the funniest part of the situation. 'G' took the old oil splattered engine out Friday night and fitted the new one together with Andy (who I'd been dreading seeing) on Saturday. They stripped whatever they could from the old one but to be honest it was knackered. SUNDAY MORNING some poor sod carried out a daring daylight raid and drove off with his prize laughing.

Unfortunately his prize was the OLD engine!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!

Oh I'd have LOVED to have seen his face when he got it to a place of safety and then actually took a look at the oil covered, rotted lump of heavy old metal he'd given himself a hernia over. 'G' reckons he'd only get about �1 scrap for it so it was totally useless! Oh no, here I go again, HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

IN OTHER NEWS: I had a lovely time at my Mom's place as usual. I had a great time bonding with my old gang and as usual, I didn't want to come back to Death Island. Shit man, if I could just get my shit sorted and I actually got into THE INTENDED JOB I'd be able to eventually transfer closer and reclaim my life.

Oh yeah, the journey back in Malc, complete with new engine was great. I passed an old VW Camper being driven by - no word of a lie - THE DEAD COMEDIAN, JOHN BELUSHI! He was wearing a Fez and had the miserable Belushi face and everything! There aren't many white people who can get away with wearing a fez without looking a right nob but I gotta say, this guy looked great...

Erm. That's it I guess. Malc's brakes still aren't right and I heard today that the garage suspect that they fitted a faulty master cylinder. Work is bordering on being shit. I passed thru to the next stage of interviews for the Probation Service but I've been struck by acute procrastination again and altho I know I was supposed to return something or call someone I can't be bothered to look for the letter which has been tidied away by the resident Tidiness Nazi (Phoe). I hope I don't cause a fight - I usually do. I admit that I can be a right bastard to live with some times.

Oh yeah - remember I was making myself ill about meeting up with Andy my kinda 'ex'? I couldn't avoid him and saw him last Saturday when he was helping with the engine. He was lovely to me and said that he wished we had longer to chat. We're back in contact and may be meeting up in July at the Malvern VW show. He's also asked my friend Lisa if there is any chance of me returning to live in Birmingham. Awwwwww, bless; He's a nice bloke.

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