2005-08-08 - 6:55 p.m.

Yieowwww! I feel like I've got an arse like a baboon

(now THAT'S the way to start off a diary entry heh?)

Smegster (Phoe to everyone other than me) and my good self went on our long bike ride and it was grrrrrreat! It wasn't that far (12 miles) but it was farther than either of us have cycled since we were kids and it was brill. A lovely sunny day, moderate to easy going and a pub at the half way point. What more is there to ask for? We found a dead vole, loads of horse shit, a potato and the desire to do it all again somewhere else tomorrow. So we are gonna :)

I photographed and then rescued the aforementioned potato from certain death. It will of course still suffer a tragic death when it enters my digestive system later on tonight but at least it wasn't smashed under the tyres of a farm vehicle! It will attain a truly wonderful death by baking and being smothered in beans(probably)

About 10 minutes after we arrived home I finally met King Idiot (the cretin who has been trying to deliver my bike for about 4 months). I had the pleasure of writing 'REFUSED' in big letters across his delivery sheet. You wana know what king cretin looked like? He was about 6'5", young (yet hunched for some reason), ginger and with an effeminate voice. Within the space of 30 seconds he had called me 'sugar', 'sweets' and 'honey'. I dunno if he had been tipped off that I had been evil (Evil Sket) to call centre staff about this bleedin' bike but was definitely on the charm offensive. I was nice to him actually and he did have the good grace to look embarrassed when I told him that he had neglected to actually leave me a phone number to call him back on when he had asked me to on my answer machine....

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