2005-12-31 - 6:16 p.m.

Ok, before I start I want to say that I've only been home frmo work for 1 hour and 16 minutes and I might already be pissed (as in a stinking drunken bum).

Forgive my typos, I'll go back and correct them when I can be arsed but Ih ave to tell you, sometimes I can't work out what I have typed incorrectly nad my fingers won't work. My face is numb and I'll know that I'm too far gone when I start looking at my hands and start crying that one day they will be bone and I will be dead and won't that be a shit 'cause actually, I really rather like myself despite all the accidents nad buffoonery (and no bloke comign near me iwth a bargepole for years).

Anyhoo,. you know my fantastic new job that I don't actually like? Well, shit man, it's been bad todya.. It was my first shitf completely alone and I thoguht that one of the residents was dead! Just my freakin luck heh? Dead resident on day one! I have been shitting myself all day worrying about this kid and whether I shoudl have really shaken him hard and shouted into his face to wake him up but I obviously didn't at hte time. Two people came calling for him (2 banned residents so I had to do the knocking) and calling out to him outside his room. Bugger me if the telly was on but there was no reply. Teh second time I went to knock on him the same bloody thing and that was 2 hours later! I ended up opening the door to his stink and callign across to him as h e lay prone in bed. He was either sleepng the sleep of the dead or actually WAS dead! I was kinda glad he moved and Ic ouldn't see any sign of vomiting/drug use/alcohol abuse so I just put it down to him being a completely lazy little sod and decided to go back and check him agian in another couple of hours. I was absoultely shitting my kecks this time around and armed myself for havi g to call and ambulance/prop the doors open and deal with bodily spills.

You know what happened?

The little shit had fucked off somewhere without letting me know that he wasn't dead! Teh bed was empty and the room was slightly less trashed than the last time I'd been up.

(mutter, scaring me half to death on my first shift alone mutter).

...and apart from that, all the frigging lights went out an dI couldn't find the key to the electricity cupboard in the dark. The residents were getting ugly and I was completley incompetent and swearing and cursing like a navvy. Back in the office I hunted around in the dark looking for a torch whilst cursing under my breath in true Basil Fawlty stylee, ESPECIALLY when i found the torch and it didn't freakin work!

anyhoo,. I can't type so I'm going to go and I'll review this message tomorreo when sobetr and fillyou in on anything that I discover is complete bollocks or unintelligible (ooh, I had toreally concentrate to type that bit!)

Happy Newe Year my friends and here's hoping I get some decent man action in 2006! Wahoooooooo, I'm eating veggie Kebabs, drinking booze and

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